When?

In this moment I don't know,
this feeling is cold and leaves me so.
She was once warm like the sun,
she once kissed me with love.

We would drive for distance
sing for feeling
cry for love

Together we would wind
down for a nap
up for school

Our hearts were bound
like flames in the fire
tears to a feeling

When her father was gone,
she drank with her friends.
When she needed a friend,
I didn't mind stepping in.

When she would tell me she loved me,
I didn't wonder if she lied.
When she went to the movies,
I didn't usually ask why.

When I caught on the first time,
she cried and I said alright.
When I caught her the second,
she cried and she lied.

I never doubted her love,
thought she was perfect.
I gave her everything,
she didn't have to ask.

I never needed to ask for her love,
but once long ago I begged.
I feel now though, her love is gone,
split between us, now so will be I.

there's never silence

sending my mind into a mesmerizing daze
playing with my eyes like a candle and a flame
taking my movements and threading them in a maze
piece by piece the puzzle unfolds like a map
to place up held by memories and Gods grace

as my pencil curses and rhymes, down the pages
on every line
my mind takes a journey flying up into the sky
fingers floating back down as my feelings glide

laying into Euphoria's Rapture
letting her take my control
living up to the metaphorical fairy-tale
leaving a trail for them to follow

the swirls of imaginations enchanting views
blinding me to the surrounding world
I'm in my own place, inside my writing
every word I write has it's own life
every page thats filled will never be forgotten in my head
is cocaine for my brain

Painted as a Scarlet Women

post resemblance of past applicants
love is trembling in your abstinence
money from the market, your the target
your sexuality for hire, managed casket
victim of whom? whats the profit?

murder left her strangulated
without ears of course one cant hear
no feet no service, so much for life
absolute monarchy, which is which?
the officer smirked, no thought of church
just of her intestines tied around the sink

often remarks, what a whore
but life is life, who's to fight for what is right
a lady, a maid. a goddess, a scarlet woman
to me she's dead, but I still will pray
God is righteous? indivisible?
believe what I know, but death is death

and no one deserves to die in pain,
like the lady from my painted monarch breath...
just end us, Mother Mary my flower to Zion
take the pain of death and let it bloom scarlet to blue

What flight are we on?

Song in progress... be nice... Trying out a new style. It seems bad without the music, the lyrics.. let me know of any suggestions... I'm worried


well she hit the floor, hit the floor running
running through her life, now she's running out
what a sweet blessing, at first, transformed before your eyes, Gods given earth
well heres a surprise...

Her dad left her, died by himself
lost and alone, feeling left out in the cold
well he left her, left her like himself

Momma, Momma; what should I do... Now that man is gone, who will know?
Momma, Momma, momma momma, why are you looking at me, like you do
I'm not dying yet, my life is not through
Momma, Momma, Don't give up on me, I'm still her, please help me be

Momma, Gods green given earth is reaching up for me
It wants me back, it wants me back, Oh Momma! Mamma take my hand, hold me tight
Oh Momma don't let go! Please... Please...
this world has broken me, torn me and threw me back
left high and dry, cold and sore...
Momma, why's this world so cruel to me?
Momma, why'd you let them get to me?

Tears roll down her murky cheeks, her watery eyes cry to me
well you know, every-time those tear drops hit the ground
a storm will brew up, and cry back to her
Mother natures mother's time is running out
you can hear her daughter crying for her
in the lightning scarred sky, the thunder rolling in
well those tear drops aren't for you or me... She's cryin...
Mother! Mother! Don't worry Mother! I'll protect you
I'll shield you from their harm! I wont let them get you!
Mother! . . . Mother! . . . Mother! . . . mother . . .

i don't know...

last time i can remember, it was about 4 am
people walking by me, takin deep breaths like they're tryin to fly
headlights stare me down, and i turn away
the wind wispering in my ear, tellin me to move faster
as i walk the night away, i disappear into a trance
meanings start dying and thoughts keep mising their cue's

i remember long ago, when i was laying with her
she told me she'd stay with me, forever and after
where did i lose it, where did i go
it must of been somewhere deep inside cause now i'm all alone

one day while walkin alone, she came along to keep me smiling
she saw me down and wanted no more, so i caught up with her and told her more
i told her she looked beautiful, that theres no women like her
spent the rest of the night explaining why me and she should stay
i must have said somethin right, we were together till yesterday


not done yet. i don't even remember writing it...

Drinking Days

an old one, i found again. reminds me of things i miss. reminds me of one of my favorite writings, that makes me sad, happy, mournful, and missing, "back to summer". first post i made on this here blog i think..

Drinking Days

I didn’t mean to be this way
drinking the days away
I never meant to be this way
fall to floor
I fall to floor
I'm slowly sinking

all those easy laughs
those lonely nights
to be alone
fall to the floor
I fell so far down
but I'm still sinking

you ask, why do you stay like this
I feel like I need this shit
continuing my crash down
to be all alone
fall to the floor
fall through the floor
I'm still sinking

all those easy laughs
those lonely nights
to be alone
everybody's hurt
turn, begin to fall
we're all faintly sinking
remember the times
you spent with me
I'll stop this night...
don’t leave me alone

Collide

I know it's been a while since I posted in here, but that doesn't mean I've stopped writing. I have gained new influences though in some aspects. more recent then I've been able to write right now.

Collide

just a word
just a lie
just a moment our hearts collide
in a flash
in a bang
in a moment our hearts will cry

I'm afraid
I'm ashamed
I'm about to abuse something
your lying
your crying
your gonna abuse my soul tonight

when we swing
we will bring
painful lights
that will shine
on our
lonely hearts

when the phone rings
it wont be you
when my soul cries
our hearts collide

on an on
lie by lie
our heartbroken lives
true by true
honestly to you
I'm gone
tonight

This Lie, My Mask

This burdon I carry on my own,
brightness, darkness,
take me home
a lie too far come,
swallow me whole
chew me up...
push me alone

This darkness inviting,
a rose keeps me fighting;
the deepest holes in me are black.
My heart sore and raw,
please take me back

My eyes may seem blue
but behind is a mask,
beat me and beat me,
my eyes turning back
into the mask;
the lie looking back...
look at me, look at me,
you see...

Look at me look at me,
behind this cold mask
see a young boy,
a heart lined in black.
The infection is eating me,
eating me fast...
brightness, darkness,
please take me home...
before they take hold...

Suicide Rose

a rose from a grave
pretty marking a deadly thing
she gave to me a rose
said hold on tightly, dont let go
from me to you, a suicide rose

marking the ending of this world
or sending me into the planes
of the sea's below
lying with me, the rose she gave
still holding tightly, she wont let go

nothing left for you to see
not a drip in an eye
and all I can see now
is you, my suicidal rose
standing over me

my pearly gates locked away
falling back upon the rose
if I could reverse my life
I'd never taken hold
of the suicidal rose

marked by the blood red of the blossom
thorns with razors edge
a smell so tempting it'll take your control
and as you spiril down its stem
you'll find more thorns followed by a bitter end